I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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