just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think my mom watched the whole time
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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