That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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