I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
