Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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