Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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