so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
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Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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