I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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