You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
