ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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