So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
