He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
