i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize