Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
