my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think i got beer on your cat.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
