I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
