so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
