I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
