I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
