This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
