What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
