how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
