Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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