I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
