how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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