i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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