Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
this will be a night to untag.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
