i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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