So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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