eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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