do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
