i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
