i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
