I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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