I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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