No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize