JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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