i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
