Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
