What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
