Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
