So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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