Duck Duck Cougar?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
