i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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