Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
