We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
