It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think I sprained my soul last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
