i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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