im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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