party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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