R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
