the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
