just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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