I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
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