You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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